The Mayans Created Slackers

written by Reid McCandless

With the frigid temperatures waning, it’s easy to see why people have recently started discovering their new love of exercise. As observed by the regular gym goers of PC, the new year has brought about a recent rise in the number of attendees in the Springs gym facilities. Everyone wants to stay in shape and with the sun shinning and a light wind rustling through bare branches the urge is only emphasized.

Official Gymnasium Data

But what is wrong with that picture, Beautiful weather leading to lack of available treadmills? It doesn’t seem right. There must be another explanation. How can the external temperature fuel one’s desire to run inside a building? After contemplating this conundrum, the true reason for the rise in gym attendance came to mind, the Mayans.

Whether we believed the predictions or not, the Mayans’ doomsday predicting calendar has had an impact on the society we have been raised in. The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 (the movie), I am Legend, and WALL-E, all depict a world that is destroyed, in the process of being destroyed, or nearing the time of its destruction.

However, the Mayans have produced more than a theme for suspenseful movies, they have produced slackers. Scared that their work would be in vain, the last few years have seen a rise in lazy people. Students have slowed down in many areas, academically, artistically, and especially physically. What was the point of working out when world destruction was so imminent? Who cares about that extra fat when it will eventually be burned off anyway, and with no work of our own?

However, with the arrival of December 22, 2012, the citizens of the world began to realize that maybe, just maybe, an ancient civilization that died out a thousand years ago were incorrect on their predictions of the end of the world. With this new revelation, hopes of prosperous futures have been ignited once again and people have decided it is time to finally get in shape. The coming of the new year brought about such a great rise in gym attendance that there could be no other logical explanation.

Interestingly enough, however, graphical data suggests that this rise in attendance happens around the same time each year. Unfortunately, however, I do not have the time to discover the meaning behind the multiple other occurrences.